Ciao Bella Blood Orange Sorbet and Oral Surgery

For those that are unaware, live under rocks, don't enjoy things that don't suck, or just hate life, sorbet is pretty amazing.  Especially amazing sorbet is even more amazing than standard sorbet.  This particular sorbet, Ciao Bella Blood Orange Sorbet, likes to hide in the hippie dippie, organic, "Health Food" section of most grocery stores.  So, skip shaving your legs and armpits for a few days, put on your favorite pair of Birkenstocks, and venture forth to the land of the patchouli scent.  Once there, you will surely find the object of your desire, Blood Orange Sorbet.  This stuff is refreshing in the most amazing way.  Think of the hardest, sweatiest, back breakingest day of work you have ever accomplished.  Now, imagine an incredible hot naked waitress brings you your favorite ice cold beer.  That's some pretty refreshing shit, right there.  Well, fuck your naked beer server (you know, if you get the chance), because this sorbet is even more refreshing.  That's pretty fucking refreshing.  So, you know, it's pretty good is what I'm trying to say.

This brings me to why I got to eat a bunch of Blood Orange Sorbet.  Today, I had oral surgery, which means I got to eat lots of Blood Orange Sorbet with my doctor's blessing.  In fact, other than giving me pretty awesome post wisdom tooth removal drugs, this was the best thing my nurse gave me.  I was given medical permission, nay medical directions, to eat as much as I wanted.  So, being a teensy bit high and possessing the impulse control of a five year old, I super ate a bunch of it.  It was just as delicious as always, even though I could only feel about half my tongue.  Apparently, the other half isn't needed to taste delicious awesome.

Some of you, way out there in the land of the internets, may have never experienced the joys of oral surgery.  My particular visit was to remove three wisdom teeth.  Let me tell you, it is just a big old suck salad.  Having teeth yanked out of your head, even by a trained professional, is not super fun.  I recommend the "put me the fuck to sleep" method.  I figured it was no big deal, so I went at it just being all numbed up (I had a little help from my dear friend Valium, but otherwise I took it like a completely numb man!).  This is a terrible idea.  Let your doctor put you to sleep.  Fuck that, MAKE your doctor put you to sleep.  There is no amount of fun involved in a stranger poking around in your mouth, yanking on things, and using tools you don't know the name of to do it.


Okay, I take it back.  Sometimes that scenario is awesome.  It just doesn't involve the dentist.